A Short Story with a Scorpio mood.

He turned to walk away from me and in that moment , I knew I had to betray myself. I knew that I had to lay it all on the line to make him understand. To make him understand what I felt. I had to tell him.

“Wait!” I yelled. Hand stretched out in front of me. Head lowered as though what I was about to say was too hard - too real - to share. Yet I knew. I knew in the deepest depths of my soul that now was the time to do this. If I didn't, I'd carry this weight around with me forever.

“I love you.” I whispered. Eyes still to the ground.

“I love you. And I know you may not love me the same but I want you to know nonetheless that I love you. I love you in the way that anything you required to succeed - even if it meant me removing myself from you and just loving you from afar, I would.

I love you in the way that I just want to give to you. I want to be there for you. I want you to have anything and everything you’ve ever wanted and I care not if anyone knows it was from me. I love you enough to be able and willing to let you go because you are important to me. You are my sunrise and every time I see you, a new sunrise happens. Even in the middle of the day.

I knew I loved you the moment I saw you. From before we met, I knew what would make me love you. I saw and felt your soul from before we were even in the same space and you had me.

That certainty in your eyes - I’ve never experienced before. The clearness of your voice makes me feel without a doubt, I can trust every word you say."

My heart was racing. My mouth tasted weird. I felt like at any minute I might pass out. I wished that at any moment the ground would open up and swallow me because this was all too much. I wanted to stop but I couldn't. I'd tried so hard to play it cool and hold things back but now that I'd opened myself up I could feel that I was going to give until there was nothing left of me.

I could feel tears running down my cheeks as I looked up to face him.

"Even if you don’t love me. Even if you never love me - the way that I do you - I will love you.

I will be there for you. Because I am in love with you. You and every amazing part of your being.

I want nothing from you. I don’t want to possess you. I simply want to know you are well; and if I can, contribute to your being well because your happiness IS my happiness. Just knowing you exist makes me happy."

My legs felt like they might give out from underneath me.

"I love you, that’s why you can’t go. Because I love you.”

He turned around.

We stood - looking at one another. Him, steadfast with the sun slowly rising behind him. My tears had blurred my vision to the point that it looked as though he himself, was the sun. Rising on me and my life and if I let him walk away, that would be my last sunrise. I wanted this moment to last forever. I didn't want to break the silence. I was too scared for what may come with it.

I couldn’t ask despite how much I wanted to. I couldn’t ask despite the desperation of wanting to know.

I couldn’t do it.

I couldn’t say it.

And yet, I did. I asked.

“Do you..." I paused as though to catch myself. In the hope that I would no be able to find the words to complete the question.

I could feel them - words forming in my chest like a rogue wave hurtling towards the shore but when they finally reached my throat, those words that were a wave, became a whisper.

"Do you love me too?”

My head lowered. Eyes to the ground because I didn’t want to read his expression before hearing the answer. If I was to die knowing that the feeling wasn’t mutual, I’d rather be blindsided. I didn’t want to know. Yet all I was waiting for was him to start.

He started.

“I —“


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