For those with Brown Skin.

For Those With Brown Skin.

You are strong, don't fear being vulnerable. You are smart so don't fear making mistakes. Use them as opportunities to learn and improve.

You and your feelings are valid. Being seen as a leader, as the life of the party, as the one who holds others up does not in any way mean that you don't deserve a break.

Don't fear giving yourself time.

Don't fear reaching out for help.

Don't fear allowing yourself to slow down because you need to.

Our parents taught us -

Walking out of the house, you've got to be better dressed than everyone else because if anyone will be stopped and searched, it's you first.

They said to us -

you have to work twice as hard as anyone else in the room to get half the appreciation.

They instilled in us -

The fact that any mistake made in public is an opportunity for anyone who views you as 'other' to take you down.

These messages, while they still hold some essence of truth, also made us fearful. Fearful of being our whole selves. Fearful of embracing every aspect of our femme-ness, Queerness, FABULOUSNESS.

I write this not as someone who is "woke" and advising others on their journey.

I write this as a letter to us all. A letter to myself. To remind me, when I spiral, that I don't have to do it alone. That I can reach out. And that you, in turn, can reach out to myself and to others too.

If we can all say "C'mon, it's 2021 so why are there still femmephobes / fatphobes / bodyshamers / bigots" then we can also say "it's 2021 and this year - and from here on out, I will live in the fullness of myself. Love myself unconditionally. Own the mistakes I make. Make amends where they need to be made.

I will no longer avoid problems, but rather allow myself, through clear communication with those involved, to have time to make the right decision. I will free myself of the mental shackles placed upon me by my parents in the efforts of trying to protect me and forge a new path that I can direct others like me onto. Allowing them to live wisely and not in fear. I will not let society dictate who I am or how I am.

I will love and be loved. Most of all, I will be happy - because I deserve it. We all do."


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