Playtime never ended.


Hope you're well and that you had a good weekend / beginning of the week.

To be honest, if you didn't and aren't the best right now, that's totally fine too.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, however you're feeling, you are perfectly within your rights to feel so. In addition to that, I'd like to say thank you for coming here and spending time with me and my thoughts.

It's been a manic week for me.

I hope yours has seen moments of chill that allow you to connect with yourself and unwind.

In this last week, I found myself in the house all day, every day for seven days and upon realising it, told myself that's just what you do when you're an adult and working for yourself. You sacrifice time with yourself. Time learning about and exploring yourself so you can work to get closer to financial freedom and then once that 'freedom' has been reached, you can be truly free and truly happy.

Thank the heavens that as a Scorpio (Gemini Rising, Capricorn Moon for those of you who were wondering), I'm a human BS detector because I caught myself in that self-destructive lie and snapped right out of it.

It's true, sometimes we must barricade ourselves in to meet deadlines but those moments shouldn't happen too often.

We all want to be the perfect employee / driven boss / perfect example of a high-performing freelancer but that doesn't exist. There is no surefire path so success because there is also no concrete and universally accepted definition for success (and if you subscribe to one, I suggest you quickly unsubscribe from that mailing list and change your email address because that Kool-Aid you're drinking will surely raise your anxiety along with your blood pressure).

You know what does take you to success? You. Your willpower. Your energy. Your lived experience and your knowledge and understanding of yourself. You.

So why haven't you taken time to learn more about yourself recently? Outside of the confines of the 'adult' life you've created for yourself, why haven't you explored yourself, your limits and capabilities more?

I ask you this because I'm asking myself this too. Why haven't I run a bath for myself and moisturised gratuitously for a half-hour or more? Why haven't I decided to keep my phone on do not disturb and rather than lay about, explore the depth and breadth of my creativity, ingenuity or candour with myself and my situation?

When we were younger we did. We communed with ourselves. Played games on our own that saw us dreaming up landscapes and creating them with objects around the house. Thinking we wanted to look like a superhero and then sitting and hand-sewing to create the look and not even needing to show it to anyone. We did it for ourselves. No one else. Nothing else. Just ourselves.

The idea that being adults we have to consistently work towards a goal that is measurable and visible to all (especially when it comes to work and career), and more so have to behave a certain way and focus on 'adulting' is ridiculous. It's ridiculous because this asks us not to actually focus on the entity that is taking us to this 'success' (ourselves) but rather focus on the things that others outside of your situation will use to gauge success. It asks us to 'run the race of life' as opposed to explore the the depth and breadth of the grounds of the estate that is life.

Playtime, for all of us as children, was the time for this exploration. Where we would look at he world and imagine all of the possibilities and see them as truly possible because all we had to do was exist and be ourselves and learn. Playtime allowed us to place ourselves in boardrooms with our barbies, on film sets, in space and then to become world-renowned chefs or great stay-at-home parents or to have really deep and meaningful connections with our friends to the point that verbal communication with them wasn't needed and telepathy reigned supreme - okay that one was a bit of a stretch but I communicated telepathically with my sister's barbies shortly after Phoebe Halliwell became an empath in Charmed, so...

My point is, as we get older, we play less. We explore ourselves less. We lose interest in ourselves and trade it in for what will make us look or seem more interesting in the eyes of wider society - the job at a specific level, the holidays, the clothes, the ability to attend chic events and subsequently, the tweets about the crazy things that happened there. I'm not slating these things. They're all cool. The coolest thing among all of them, though, is you.

Your perspective is totally unique. There is no one that thinks like you. There isn't anyone who has had the same experiences as you and if they've had similar ones to you, they've not processed them the same way you have. You are that 'chemical X' so why aren't you exploring the components of your unique chemical makeup?


Indulge yourself in hobbies or activites that you left at the door when you walked into the home of your adult life. Pick up that sketchbook and draw! Grab that laptop and start coding again! Crochet, paint, build sets in your home and create whole fantasies that you can revel and rejoice in!

Play more.

Explore Yourself.

Love yourself.

Actively get to know yourself as you move through life.


You've worked so hard for so long. You deserve it.

D. x


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